frequency
by an awesome blossom
Summary: a collection of metal gear drabbles. addition: MGS4 jack's family vacation, dr. clark and babies, and I.
1. Stuka: Naked Snake & Tsuchinoko

**stuka  
**_dive bombing into paradise_

naked snake and the tsuchinoko

* * *

"Eat me," said the tsuchinoko from a mouse trap, "and I will take you to paradise."

So Naked Snake pickled it in brine, slathered it with ground up glowcaps, cooked it over an open fire, and finally ate it; it was delicious.

The tsuchinoko kept good on its word and led Snake through the jungle, past the movie theatre where he fingered his first girlfriend, into the empty nest of a Boss bereft of her charge, and out into the field twinkling with diamond explosions and screeching with German dive bombers.

When the time came in a white hot splash, he wrinkled his nose judiciously:

Paradise smelled like vomit.


	2. Love In A Void: Ocelot & Raikov

**rabid dogs that aren't biting  
**_love in a void_

raikov and ocelot

* * *

"When I was a young boy," confessed Ivan Raidenovitch Raikov over Adamska and sulfuric acid, "I had a cat whose digestive tract shut down; he was slowly dying. So one night I cradled him in my arms for hours before embracing him so tightly with my hands around his neck that he suffocated before it snapped."

Ocelot moved and kept out of arms reach from the other Major after that.


	3. Dirty Water: Ocelot & Raikov

**drinkin' dirty water kills a man**  
_the story of that stupidly carved revolver (according to a snake)_

ocelot and raikov

* * *

They scoured the armoury with such an intense scrutiny only reserved for intimidating secrets into the open.

"What about this one?" Ocelot asked, chancing upon a plain but capable revolver. He held it up, and Raikov made a clearly disgusted face.

"No, it's ugly; put it down."

Scowling, Ocelot didn't know why the other Major cared; _he _wasn't the one who was schooled by a dirty American. But he deferred to the other's judgment on the matter of aesthetics and came calling when Raikov announced that he had found the _perfect _revolver for him to wield:

It had a design engraved into it that reminded him of a pattern that would have been embroidered on his grandmother's clothes, had he had one.

Picking it up and twirling it experimentally, Ocelot noted how the light reflected off its shiny surface as it made its revolutions. For reasons he couldn't quite verbalize, that was very important to him, and this gun was deemed somewhat satisfactory.

"It makes me look like a poof, though," he observed with a scowl.

Raikov stared at him until he finally accepted the gun into his holster.


	4. Queen's Night Out: Fortune & Sniper Wolf

**queen's night out  
**_fortune meets sniper wolf_

mgs1 and mgs2

* * *

In the afterlife at the juncture of maybe and never, Fortune met a Kurdish woman codenamed Sniper Wolf.

No words were exchanged then other than a begrudging, "You look pretty good," and a not-so-begrudging, "Thanks. Nice rail gun," then an equal, "Thanks." And beyond that, what else could be said? Even in the place where all her dreams came true, none of them did: she saw not her father, not her husband, not her unborn child, but she saw this woman. What a karmic unjustice.

Karmic unjustice had a nice rack, though, she couldn't deny.


	5. Spellbound: MGS4 SPOILERS Ocelot & EVA

**spellbound  
**_adam and eva LET the snakes go_

**SPOILERS** for _Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots_

* * *

"We have to give them up today, ADAM. You know that, right?"

ADAM scowled at EVA and then turned away to face the twins with a softer expression that she couldn't see. Of course he knew; he knew damn well. Today was the day the terrible infants would go from MOTHER to PATRIOT, just as planned. Hell, he _planned _it.

So he knew.

..._God_, did he know.

He ignored her words as if they were never uttered and set to packing a bag filled with the bare minimum - one for James and another for David. ADAM didn't want to admit he had a favorite much less that he liked the twins at all, but inexplicably he had a softer spot for David; that's why he went to the Americans, after all.

John was from America.

With only the sounds of James and David babbling between them in some incoherent form of infant language, ADAM sorted through diapers while EVA prepared formula.

Eventually the harsh ring of the telephone interrupted the last of their idyllic moments, and ADAM answered; the men, capable and good, handpicked by ADAM himself (because _this was the most important job of their lives_) to pick up the packages were just downstairs. Unable to watch EVA's face for the pained yet muted expression he knew would flash through her eyes just as they did his, ADAM told her as such in those words: _packages_, because it was harder to say that they were giving up John's unwanted children.

EVA reluctantly gathered James first (a mother can't say she has a favorite, but she does) along with what few belongings the two children had in their brief lives and went ahead. But ADAM knew she wouldn't actually meet with the men until he arrived with David; he didn't want to admit that he would have done the same.

So he lifted the other twin, who pleasantly drooled, into his arms and wiped the spit with his thumb from David's chin in a practiced and efficient motion. Then he kissed him farewell on the cheek before they made their way out the flat and into the real world.


	6. Family Vacation: MGS4 Raiden & REX

**family vacations**  
_masturbating past victories_

raiden & rex

* * *

"Nice cockpit," Raiden said upon slinging himself into the ruined glory of a rusted hulk: REX, who of course didn't respond. Being a chunk of metal and all. Yet he found an affinity with it, cyborgs and metal gears. Metal is the same whether under rust or organic skin. "Good throttle, too. Do you mind?"

REX didn't.

So Raiden took hold of it and stroked it once, gently. Then another time, faster. There was something powerful in handling it, much more than a car. He --

"Jack? Jack, honey, get out of that thing right now!"

Reluctantly, Jack obeyed his wife and jumped out of the cockpit and into the snow, into the world. And he saw his wife and son in furs, huddled together on a dying, sinking island as he masturbated past victories.

...Worst family vacation ever.


	7. Test Tubes, Darling: Dr Clark & Solidus

**test tubes, darling  
**_the stork brings them_ _to me_

as requested when I was drunk

* * *

Potassium, calcium, sulfur, no no no that wasn't right. Try again. Silicone, magneseum, zinc...

And an in-fact interruption went like this: "Wawa bayeee coh froh?"

Dr. Clark, skilled in biology, chemistry, physics, and even the masturbatory science of math, was also skilled in infant talk, seeing as it was the only form of communication beyond x/y-z=something beyond the purposes of this exercise that really made any sort of sense. "Six, eight, seven, see you in heaven, eight, ni--what?"

"Wawa bayeee coh froh?" Baby Solidus thought it was self-explanatory.

Maybe it was.

She pointed distractedly to a vial. "Test tubes, darling."

Maybe it wasn't.


	8. Replica: Big Boss & Volgin, Ocelot & EVA

**replica**  
_everything but_

I was requested to write big boss/volgin, but this is the only way I felt I could.

* * *

Since birthing and spreading secondary knowledge, ADAM and EVA spend more time together than they would like and way more than is healthy. That is to say, they hardly see each other. But when they do, it's never the same way twice; they always end up having sex.

That's not the _it_, though. The _it_ comes when he's on her or she's on him, the impact of his or her fist on her or his body. And it's never the same way twice, but things are always the same. They grunt and groan and twist and hit - kissing, biting, licking, fighting. One hits while the other is tied, and if they pretend - and they're good at that because they don't know anything else - that with the fist comes a feeling of tingling electricity, then that makes it easier because Ocelot has no qualms about hitting women, and EVA never had any about a man.

(_"You're pretty good," she says and hits him._)

ADAM is a man, and EVA is a woman. But sometimes EVA is a man, too, despite any artificiality (because sometimes deep down some of the best men are just pretending, too).

They cry and yell and feel _it_ with each hit because they don't understand. But they're trying. _It_ means a lot to EVA when she's hit because she can remember best, but then again _it_ means the world to Ocelot when he's hit because he can remember being bested. And they've been chasing _it_ since summer of '64.

(_"My precious little pet," he says and hits her._)

In the ascension through the bruises and tears, all life condenses to a bloodstained room and five individuals, and at the height of orgasm, it narrows down further to something that was before ADAM and EVA ever existed.

**I**.

(_But it is never them, and they're only straining to touch _it_ anyway, so they keep on beating each other._)


End file.
